Being Transparent freedom’s just another word for nothing left to hide

 

The subject of this chapter is based on expressing what you feel or notice. Susan introduce this chapter giving as an example a story of a couple that are going to celebrate their 30th anniversary. Their problem is that Fred wanted to say something very special to Jenny but for Jenny that expression was interpreted very badly. They have a fight because Fred only wants to make Jenny happy but she didn’t feel good with that comment. So in here I learned that sometimes other person can say us something that hurt us but his or her intention is not to hurt us. So we have to be clear in noticing the intent of the other person and are specific with the other person of what I heard and what about that hurt me.



Getting real Dating
In this part of the chapter the author gave us an example of how many people want to date someone but without being real with their life. I has experience in my life that many of my friends have relationships based in things that my friends or their boyfriends doesn’t are. I didn’t have a boyfriend only my husband but before him I date some guys and what I really do not like of them is that they aren’t real with me. They only wanted to demonstrate things about their life that aren’t true. In my country it is normal that the men or women all the time act different and like being difficult persons to conquest only to demonstrate that they are important. One of the things that make my relationship with my husband a very good relationship is that he at the first time we met us he has been very sincere with me. All the time he talked that he wanted to have a formal relationship with me he is very transparent and what he said to me is what he act. That makes me to be very open with him and also I like to be very transparent with him. With the time we have construct a relationship based in being real with each other and if we get in love is in the most imperfect things of our life. Examples of that is like the things that we are ashamed of our families or things about our past that we didn’t like to remember, we have share with each other to be very transparent in all of the aspects of our life.

 

Having Fear
There is one paragraph summary in this chapter of how to manage fear. I would quote it in here:

“Remember, when you try to ignore your fear and push it into the background, it won’t go away. Instead, it will either create confusion in your perception of what’s true or it will lead to a lack of authenticity in the way you express yourself. So if authenticity is your goal, acknowledges your fears, clarify what it’s about, and let it fade away.”

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Being transparent in marriage

With this part of the book I didn’t share the point of view of the author. Susan gave an example of being real with you wife or husband when one of them gives you a present that you don’t like. In this example I would analyze all the effort that my husband does to try to give me something with all her love. I give more value to the intention that he has that the kind of present. Because what happened if at 5 years all the time I am real with him and I say to him that I didn’t like his presents at some point he is going to be frustrated of me. I prefer to make him feel appreciated by myself because for me is more important to make him happy that having a very pretty material thing.

 

Creating Real Community

“You’ll need to find people who value learning to hear truth more than they value being comfortable. “ This quote remembers me to my old friends of school. Most of the times many of them get angry when we are real and talk to them because they are doing things only to be accepted. I have learned during this years that many things that I think was important like going to some parties or being friend of some type of person, it is not the most important thing in life. Today I appreciate more the time I spend with my family. I like to do things that help the people who don’t have the same opportunities as I have in my life. I appreciate all I have and I enjoy it instead of complain for having more.